PCCA Journal|2
nd
Quarter 2013
16
teach effective communication. After all, your team leaders,
project managers, and even your frontline folks engage with
your customers, vendors, and potential clients.
The following tactics can help you and the people you lead
move from being poor or average communicators to excel-
lent communicators. And when that happens, you will see an
increase in your bottom line—regardless of the economy!
Avoid Conversation Killers
We’ll begin with these five very common conversation (and
trust) killers:
1.
Poor eye contact. In a “heads-down” world, maintaining
good eye contact is more important than ever. As a leader,
it is an effective way to teach through example. Let’s
face it, a lot of younger workers have not been taught to
make and hold attention through eye contact. Be the role
model. On a side note, it doesn’t hurt to teach others how
to shake hands in a confident way, either.
2.
Focusing on the negative. Research tells us that work
performance is negatively impacted when we focus on
negative behavior. In fact, to build the self-esteem and
self-efficacy of your workforce, it is proven that the ratio,
2:1 applies. That means making two positive comments
for each negative comment. More about this later.
3.
Hijacking conversations with your opinion, your experi-
ences, and your “wisdom.” When we interrupt someone
to interject our thoughts, the message they hear is, “Your
thoughts and opinions don’t really matter. Listen to how
smart (experienced, wise, clever, etc.) I am.”
4.
Telling tasteless jokes. Okay, guys, I was a physical educa-
tion major in college, and my classmates tended to be
jocks. Once I got over the blushing stage, I learned to ac-
cept it as belonging to the gang. As I matured, I began to
recognize the insensitivity, prejudice, and ignorance that
tasteless jokes reflect. At the PCCA convention, I asked
the audience if they were ever offended or felt awkward
about this issue. The younger women in the audience
hesitantly responded that they often felt ill-at-ease about
some of the jokes and stories they were told. Just remem-
ber, what was funny around your dinner table at home
will not always translate as funny to the general public.
And, most importantly, tasteless humor and stories leave
a long trail when shared through email.
5.
Throwing people under the bus. We live in a world of
“it’s not my fault,” and we easily can find a target to
“throw under the bus” about why something expected or
promised did not happen. Great leaders know that they
make mistakes, either directly or indirectly. Most mistakes
are not intentional and provide great learning opportuni-
ties. By owning up to your own shortcomings, making
amends when necessary, doing what you said you were
going to do, and delivering what you promised, you dem-
onstrate integrity to your people, your customers, your
vendors, and your family. And most importantly, you
model behaviors that allow your employees to raise their
hand when they have a problem or make a mistake.
Desirable Communication Habits
Now, let’s focus on some positive behaviors that can result in
stronger communication. Following the 2:1 ratio, we’ll look
at ten of the most desirable communication habits.
1.
Get off your point of view and look at the world from a
new viewing point! We all have points of view (POV).
They come from a variety of sources including our
upbringing, religion, education, friends, and what we
choose to watch on television or read. Our POV can be
about anything in the world—even how others should
raise their children. Think of your point of view like this.
Out of all the information there is to know in the world
about the subject you are highly opinionated about, how
much do you really know? More than likely, not much.
The suggestion is that the next time you find yourself
bowing up and defending your point of view, take a
breath and a moment to look at the situation from a new
viewing point. It will open your awareness and increase
your knowledge.
2.
Judge less, help more. Check in with yourself on a regular
basis to see how often you are judging others—from the
kid covered with tattoos, to the homeless on the side of
the street, to the competitor who secured the project.
When appropriate, extend a helping hand. This is a great
way to learn about humanity.
3.
Try making a point without making an enemy.
4.
Get in touch with your wise mind. The most primitive
part of our brain is the amygdale. It is the part that kicks
into action when we feel endangered (either real or per-
ceived). It immediately activates hormones that produce
higher levels of energy. This served our ancestors well as
they ran from or fought the saber-toothed tiger. For our
modern day life, this phenomenon creates a highly emo-
tional response to life events. The interesting thing about
the amygdale is that it overrides the larger frontal cortex
(the logical, strategic thinking part of the brain). We all
have cringing memories when we acted and spoke from
Beyond a Text and a Tweet
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